Pyramid and “Peer”amid: How men and women perceive society

Published on: August 28, 2022

Perception of society and the concomitant social position is a key point in the way the world of a man differs from that of a woman. Join us as we dive deeper to understand how men and women thrive in their understandings of the social order.

Men scale a hierarchy

For men, it’s obvious that the natural social order requires them to reach the top of the pyramid. In their world, relations are slotted in the comparative – first/second, higher/lower, faster/slower, bigger/small and so forth. 

Men are always conscious of their position in the pecking order, measuring and assessing everything from the size of their house to the prestige of their company to stay “one-up” versus their contemporaries. Men want to be looked up to and admired as the alpha male, the superior, one of the few. For men, getting ahead means getting ahead of the others.

Women scale the same hierarchy, together

Women truly believe that every person is created equal and must be treated with affection and empathy. Along with the perception that people are the most important element in their lives, care and concern are values regarded highly and interacting with others is a pleasurable and desirable activity, a place at the top of the pyramid would be miserably lonely. Women prefer a situation where everyone gets ahead – not ahead of anybody else, life is not a race, but just moving forward together. Their dictum is, “the more, the merrier”.

Women don’t necessarily want to be looked up to, any more than they want to be looked down upon. In the feminine realm, the ideal position is side by side. Their operative emotion is empathy, not envy.

Marketers for years have believed that ambition – the drive to be like someone on a higher rung on the ladder – was the prime motivation for everyone. And it worked alright for men. You must have seen countless ads on the premise, “Once I have this product, everyone else will be sooo envious!”: Men can relate – when evolution has programmed you to constantly seek alpha status, could you really think any other way? But women believe making someone go green with envy is a petty, lowly stunt to pull.  Women might more readily align to the premise, “Yup – that’s like my life. If the product works for her, it might work for me as well.”

The merits of the side-by-side arrangement is as evident to women as pyramid power is to men. There is no dearth of somebody to chat with, shopping buddy and soul sister(s). The group will always gain when everyone pools their talents and resources; and since you’ll receive input from everyone as you finalize the direction, they will all have a stake in seeing the group flourish.

The flipside is that negotiations take time, and the hesitation in taking a call for others. Women often land themselves in a “ring of deference”. They’ll say, “Well, I like Indian, but if you like Chinese, let’s order Chinese takeout.” “No, no, let’s order Indian. I have been craving Indian food for weeks! Let’s do it your way” “No, no, let’s order Chinese please!” It is no surprise that this is what men find pointless and counterproductive – and can you really blame them?

Better together

The bottom line is, when you’re a part of the sisterhood, the world is just one big, supportive bear hug – no one will ever be lonely or left behind; there will be people happy to have your help and happier to help you.

In fact, one of the key differences between the genders and its implication on marketing and advertising is highlighted in how men and women feel about asking for and receiving help. Men steer clear from it – it pegs them “one-down” versus the other guy and why would he do that to himself? Men like to see themselves as masters of any situation, while women are more likely to see themselves as students. Women have no hiccups in admitting when they don’t know something; as “lifetime learners”, they are more likely to seek and appreciate assistance from others.

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